How I Hear Is Lonely

When You Look At Me

2010-04-01T15:26:00.000-07:00

You are a lubricious rose-colored maturation of love

Surpassing time switches

An ambiguity of the mind

With a path straight inside

My heart

Passing Over

2010-04-01T15:16:00.000-07:00

Roll in

Tell on me

I’m down

It could be called a, “choo-choo protocol.”

Not likely

I would like payment, “Please.”

A Drink With You

2010-04-01T15:09:00.000-07:00

rake up
our
Meticulousness
as
inseparable
like
Night walking
and
off the hook
fucking

A WANTING

2010-04-01T14:57:00.000-07:00

It has become up to me now to want you

I love you

It has become up to you now to want me

an implication

2007-02-27T18:41:00.000-08:00

broken girl's swallow

And.....

2007-01-27T22:09:00.000-08:00

grumbling between sheets of sweat and old cigarettes
apologetically i fumble with myself for hurting you

within my poetics
heart lurking expectations i hold you
only leaving you with sunburned kisses
i love you

i see long strides in your laughter
intelligence an art
a quench i hold
gulping
holding
knowledge continues

you are my flavor
now let me deliver

Spilling

2007-01-25T14:47:00.000-08:00

old still grew fun
A
long delicious end of Sunday laughter

not done...just sitting

2007-01-23T18:26:00.000-08:00

There had been a time when emotional value was enough and now it has turned into the proceedings of the following: Christmas, Valentines Days, Birthdays and Anniversaries. Has this compiled over time or is what realistically happens when a society devours magazines instead the good books and when the newspaper could quite possible be more bias then the news. This all reluctantly happens to us as we try to mature and become an ideal mate within out subconscious mind. I would not really like to stand for anything these days. I would rather just live; but when I have two jobs accusingly small for what the new world would order for us and pleasantly wiling to let me do everything half ass I have to ask myself why when I wake up at 5:30 am to shower and look pretty does it matter? Do I care? Yes, I care that my 7 to 2 job has people there that look at me. Yes, I care only because I would not want to buy makeup from a nasty looking sales person. Yet I do not care what color might look good on you or if your age resembles something from an eighties movie. I could really care less.

Though a satire on commercialism Terrie had more opinions about the world then she had blogs and time constituted its self as relative because she managed to do exactly what she wanted every second of the day. Terrie is one of those people that no matter how hard you try understanding you won’t. How they manage to skip work for calling in drunk and then show up anyway to only be told to go home, or can’t make a shift because her car got a scratch on it or the lengthy discussion that involved, “I used to be a stripper, I want to go back to school, I worked for a escort service….on and on…the things they say and do make you wonder how you have managed not to have the life they willingly live; Full attributes that signal only a…..catastrophe.

When Terrie was little she used to dress her sister up as a doll and stuff her into a doll stroller only to leave her there for sometime crying and sobbing while she played. Terrie used to tell people she was going to grow up and be a nun because her dad had told her that only jokingly when she was little and cute. Terrie lost her virginity in a tent and wanted to be a lesbian when she was 16 teen and thought it was cooler to be smart then to be popular.

Now Terrie is thirty and not quit willing to embellish on anything else.

Positioned just right over her counter eyeliner matched with its designated spot, hair became thick and managed, skin tone smeared and rearranged to look smoother, red panties were put on, figure being dressed and powdered: Degree, Rose Water, Berts and Bees face lotion, MAX eye shadow, skinny jeans, tall black boots, diamonded earrings, low cut top, toast, coffee and keys. Sounds came to her as she left for work.

Harmonica

2007-01-23T15:17:00.000-08:00

In beds of now - X the sacks - HAUL

THE MAKING

2007-01-02T20:20:00.000-08:00

copious defenseless man
tugging over forever

VOL>1

2006-12-29T10:54:00.000-08:00

common woman
wrapped in rainbows

"His tender light."

The Funtion

2006-12-02T07:36:00.000-08:00

Upon desire
“Oh en the minds eye.”

Life Size

2006-12-01T10:36:00.000-08:00

Men decrying.
Little humanity gone.

And I own more love.

Yet girls we are.

Time within you only marks here.

2006-11-29T10:33:00.000-08:00

Installments poached convergence
This un-helped 4-d
Shackled and slow
“Oh 24.”

USE

2006-11-29T10:26:00.000-08:00

Insidious light-light drones
The on flash keeps them stolid
“The great Amorphous”
Hints joy.

an inconsistency

2006-11-25T08:41:00.000-08:00

1. I had warm thoughts of you.
2. I did not know my position.
3. I also did not know what I needed .
4. Though the comfort of one cigarette on the porch did not persuaded me.
5. Your heart was calling .
6. I could not resist your temptation.
7. And...... so I was depleted with absolution.

All The Little Moments

2006-11-14T16:33:00.000-08:00

He spoke to her. Looking down she noticed he was fondling himself in what seemed to be a state of unawareness and so she spoke quietly trying to relieve the tension of her youth. He spoke while gasping.

The need for arranging

2006-08-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

This has come into my view more than once...the want for removing myself. Is this self-imposed? I feel vertigo when I wake in the morning and less of a heartbeat when I fall asleep in my new 2,000 dollar bed. What am I becoming within this world of moral disclosure and unhappy endings? Am I still here waiting......"for what?"

and so it is...

2006-07-10T10:31:00.000-07:00

come- ing is so me

.....................................

2006-07-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

Don't lick...listen

A Recovery

2006-06-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

soughing : your voice
come visit : to my found tree

.....

2006-06-13T14:17:00.000-07:00

open-up and tell-me what you hear. silent-sound. walking-voices and empty-souls. wet noise. “can-you-hear-it.” silent—sound—waiting.

"Can you tell me."

2006-06-13T14:08:00.000-07:00

diverge continually
its-to-eager for directions
i will laugh back, “tell me.”

2006-06-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

bond preciousness...respect a circumstance...such to i again.

Love Letter-A Renunciation

2006-06-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

I wrote about being with you and my fingers decided to mention something from a parallel universe where you and I made a connection, where you and I live and I wonder when that connection will leave us. When there are no more points to the pointed obvious. And suffering in this world will end with me being alone as I have seen it my whole life. You need to hold me to keep me. Loving you will not be easy for me because boredom takes place and I forget who I have become without you. This is the opportunity that I have taken from you. An experience, I always want to touch other people and that seems irrelevant when I smile at you. I am lost within the confides of what is going on and I cannot understand why I am not alone. I detached from you as though I was not human yet you seem not to notice as I touch you awkwardly for some time mentioning things like your laziness and not wanting you inside me.
The voice at the other end of the phone is not my girlfriend and I walk out side wondering when you will notice that I have from you-to-me-to-you-to-someone else. And I cry at night because latching on is what I have become. Safety is what I am looking for, not the emptiness of nothing. I have become bored within my universal wondering and I can not breathe right now. So I wait patiently without you for the next step of life that should be taking me somewhere alone.

That night seemed thick and when I smelled you I saw nothing but the times we have spent alone and lonely and I wondered when you were going to leave me too. I can not look anymore into the future without seeing you and I become scared at night when I can not hear you breathing and so I wait patiently.

6-1-06

2006-06-01T08:27:00.000-07:00

pronouncement
aberrant misery.
again face
each flattened.

Uncomfortable

2006-05-26T11:13:00.000-07:00

Singe into found desire a end.
Slips I, very red a child chapped sweet face.

What is different?

2006-05-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

Taste of dilution, the many faces of complementation, discourage me to an inclination.

New

2006-05-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

Abstrusely I wash my body.
In order to reach closely the under prints of my scorn, scrolling

2006-05-25T09:44:00.000-07:00

She evades him in the throng outside; she eludes quality.
A movement so tiny, he notices her.
Submerged, watery, “reveal need” she said in excess
This is what he knew of her; as lonely.

2006-05-25T09:42:00.000-07:00

stagnation
never a help for me to measure you
from the surface

2006-05-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

Though, I walk

I never need you.

5-24-06

2006-05-24T08:34:00.000-07:00

upon soft silky heads ceased X

a day...

2006-05-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

Play jars, stutter-rhythm, worn dancing, noon-day, a chortle.

5-23-06

2006-05-23T11:28:00.000-07:00

Remit dread..."Mary May I"

O.K

2006-05-19T08:11:00.000-07:00

Discuss night, after desire.

...

2006-05-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

Fissured fracture may attempt laughter.

5-19-06

2006-05-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

split move to this, the end. now known, duel. you beg.

This is what I am saying...

2006-05-16T20:33:00.000-07:00

you

I love you

HELP ME

2006-05-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling lonely...i am feeling a little confused at what i'm doing with this ongoing plastic cover of a life i'm living in...am i a variable...can people really complicate me...or...is it just me...choosing the indulgent...choosing...just choosing.

A Interference

2006-05-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

Long time...you'll break...get done to-tonight...the wait.

Up and Down

2006-05-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

Should I stop myself from this? I woke up this morning feeling like I was moving UP and Down and then I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror and screamed.

Blubbering should be part of life

2006-05-15T09:44:00.000-07:00

Blubbering comes from the area of my body that still wants to be a child and I find that when I run into issues beyond my control I want to blubber. Blubber can also be defined as: 1. To sob noisily. 2. To utter while sobbing. 3. To make wet and swollen by sobbing.

"Can I please be wet and swollen."

"what-to-do-list" starting today.....

2006-05-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

eight page paper for behavioral science
(starting would get me one step closer)
capstone
(having an idea might help here)
portfolio for the business of writing
(need a little more effort)
project on Korea
(one year and this will be helpful)
exercise
(before people start singing, "I like big butts and I can not lie" as I walk by)
wanting to do instead
(read, lay in the sun, write, sleep, travel, summer fun, move into new place, pole dancing)

An Anticipation

2006-05-15T08:12:00.000-07:00

the nerves never for desire. and true in the end. i will strike out to go, running.

3-7-06

2006-05-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

X changed

Years my photographs together

Smiling days always elapsed

Today my distance

Again you

A desire first

Gathered Words

2006-05-12T21:22:00.000-07:00

i'm overrated by consumption. morning crunches are uncomfortable, as if stopping virginity. though. the kitty who is immaculate with furless talk eats milk. lapping only.

Hit it

2006-05-12T11:33:00.000-07:00

Empty against this breathe, tapes flesh and no end to we.

A temptation

2006-05-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

All now right body

I order that

A stand